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Vitriol    14,000

It has recently come to my attention that yet another person has very likely died on MPA. If true, she would be thousands since the first and she is and an endless amount of people from the last, pending theoretically on the site's indefinite operation. 


Thread links:



(I was told there was another, similar thread made within minutes of these. Unnecessary for our purposes to dig it all up).


No timely mod response (or response to date), despite user's recognizing their lurking. Why is that? Once again, let me tell you. If people are committing suicide on your site, on issues that are related to the central discussion of your site ("too fat") and her perception is so distorted that it had to come from somewhere distorted (your site), then that's a terrible indictment against the site. Deplorably, they moved the thread to the mental health section, where it was in the general discussions before, so nobody from the public sees it. And that one MPA user who stumbles into the mental health section every now and then, hidden well below the major forums, can read this very sad story, while they have a split window of thinspiration open, about to post 30 severely underweight women they found on a VK site, to receive more likes from her friends. Then you can sit back on your chair and say "I have really made it, I'm invincible" until one day you're staring down a barrel of a gun, or swaying by the edge of a cliff, or you have an emptied bottle of medication with alcohol in front of you at 19 years old, like this girl's tragic story if indeed she did commit suicide. In any case there were plenty before her if we want demonstrative examples.


People commit suicide because they suffer. Their suffering is a product of their perception and their perception of the content and experiences that they are subjected to. Only on a site like myproana is 120lbs considered fat. Only on a site like myproana would you feel gross for being a perfectly normal if not skinny weight. ONLY on a site like myproana do you have threads where people say "if I was x weight, I would kill myself right now" with the number being something not all that bad. Our society treats the symptom and not the cause, which highly true of this girl. You can give someone anti-depressants, therapy, everything in the world but if you don't remove them from the cause (being on the site), your efforts will be fruitless because the pull of the eating disorder is so strong. Consider suffering, but in the context of the site, failure (not being a very low weight). It's very distressing. The point at which someone commits to the idea of suicide (getting everything ready, they're really going to do this) is the point where it is a less terrifying prospect than living, so it becomes an arousing fantasy. It's still scary, which is why people remain in a suicidal ambivalence for a long time if not thankfully forever. Before you get to the point of committing to the idea, suicide is seen as a security; a fall back, "if something goes wrong, I will do it". Think about it too much, and you'll be curious. Curious about what's beyond, wondering why you're still in the now, when you can be in the nothingness. It's high inducing and terrifying in and of itself, almost like a submissive would feel in sexual experience though the fear is very real here.


The fear is always greater than you think it is. It's easy to say that you're going to jump off the centerpoint tower, but it's quite another to be standing there, racking your brain for anything redeemable in your life, because this is just too terrifying. In fact most of the people who "committed suicide" via jumping from high places did want to commit suicide, but ended up dying accidentally, as they lost their balance in high elevation and fell to their death. It's fair to say that lots of them wanted to come back, but couldn't. 


That's it. You're dead! That's it. Your life, your experiences, your aspirations, your achievements, your failures, your daily rituals, your anger, your happiness, your frustrations, your excitements, everything that makes you, you, is all irreversibly gone. You go from having the trembling pleasure of an orgasm to completely dead, unable to feel anything. Your family and friends, who might have ignored you in your time of need, will still question what they did wrong, and they will live with that burden. You will go on and be forgotten, and the last crime against your dead person is that you will never know what you could have became. You'll never see yourself blossom or fail, you'll never see your children, you'll never experience another happy moment or learn from a sad one. You're not feeling and that's worse than feeling the worst of emotions, because it's devoid of hope, howsoever unrealistic. All over the silliness that 120lbs was "too heavy". All over this unnecessary cruelty and ridiculousness implanted in your head by a stupid forum that claims to support you. Where was everyone supporting her when she said "I'm 120lbs, gross". Well, they agree with her. It is too much. "I understand" is as much as they can say, rather than "you're fucked up, close this site and never come back again, go to the mall and do normal people things." But vitriol, things aren't that easy. Yes they are. If MPA currently had a shift into a mainstream dieting site where underweight users were banned, the users wouldn't form such distorted perception and to fit in with the culture of the site, they would form its opposite. Your perception comes directly from your surrounding environment and that in which you are very immersed. 


Eating disorders existed before MPA's existence and will continue to exist if it gets shut down, but a hell of a lot of lives would be saved without that site. Countless people sign up there with the innocent thought of cutting back on their intake and within a year they're severely underweight and purging 8x a day. It's directly caused by their immersion in a culture that glorifies thin and anything else is misleading. If it isn't causation, it's certainly a huge correlation. Let me ask you this. Would you want your young daughter on MPA? I think that's the only question that you need to ask yourself.


What does it mean to die at 19 years old?


- miss out on the best years of your life

- never have a meaningful career

- miss out on 40+ years of existence

- make the rest of your family's life an ongoing torture ("what more could we have done") and even worse if she was an only child, then her parents will die from the sadness, in sadness

- never get married

- never have children

- never experience any emotion again, you're quickly forgotten on the community that distorted your perception and led to your death, and everyone in your real life will move on within a few months except for your parents and siblings (if applicable)


The argument can be made that the rest of her life would have been torturous. The success of that argument depends largely on her continued presence on MPA. It would be outright disingenuous to ignore the effect of the site on her perception. The site is the problem. Please wake up. 


"myproana is NOT a pro ana website"

Well at least one moderator provably disagrees.


There was once a thread, okay. Someone asked, what should we re-name the site? I said the truth, that the site didn't need a name change because it encapsulates it pretty well. It is PRO ana. My good friend, Goddess Annea agreed. At the very least, that's what a reasonable person would think a "like" suggests. 





Please think.





Please think.


Making up false accusations and hating on someone arbitrarily rather than focusing on people's deaths. Even MPA's biggest advocate has to admit that her death or suicide attempt at least (since nobody can confirm her death) was heavily influenced by pro ana. It's really a question of degree, isn't it. This is what MPA is about and this is what I'm against. That's it.

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Evelyn    945

@Vitriol what are your thoughts on the argument that steroid forums are just as dangerous as pro-anorexia forums?

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Vitriol    14,000

@Vitriol what are your thoughts on the argument that steroid forums are just as dangerous as pro-anorexia forums?


A beautiful theory destroyed by ugly facts. Steroid forums ban underage users, telling them not to start steroids until they're in their late 20's. Not 15, 18 or 21. 27, 28 is their recommendation. Steroid forums revolve around harm minimization, what medications to take that entirely or largely offset side effects, how long to stay off cycle for, what meds to take during cycle to keep certain blood panels in check, when and where to get blood tests. Pro-anorexia is centered on avoiding doctors because obviating negative health effects is impossible when you've been starving long term, there are no planned "off" periods, and taking vitamins isn't going to offset a really low weight. Notionally, bodybuilders are in a better position than most anorexics. Nobody dies from hormones and this includes bodybuilders. They die from fat burners, which is mutual to, if not furthered in the anorexia world. 


On pro-anorexia forums you can be 13 years old and still receive "support" for your "eating disorder" (aka a desire to be thin) and within a few months, oh crap, now you have a real eating disorder and you're finding it hard to get out of this. Nobody tells you to rack off from the forum. Give medication to the healthy and they will become sick; this is analogously what sites like myproana do. The medication is actually poison. The medication is sick advice. The water that you swallow the medication with is the environment, where everyone is so divorced from reality, that you start to believe it's normal because everyone else does it. That's irrelevant anyway since you've been guided into forming a superiority complex because of how glorified looking sick and underweight is.


Steroid forums and MPA both contain people who have body image disorders and eating issues, but beyond that, they really cannot be compared. They're entirely different leagues, with different goals. The former is based on harm minimization and the responsible use of hormones and the latter is based on pure, motivated, and cultish destruction. The crucial distinction is that the deaths of people on MPA (which in any event are astronomically more than in bodybuilding circles) can strongly be linked to their presence and browsing of the site, and their consequent deterioration overtime. The deaths in the bodybuilding world are due to people going on a frolic of their own, and deciding to take 2 grams of DNP or something silly, when the forums they were browsing are completely against its use in the first place. Pro-anorexia forums parade deathly underweight women and the members of the board strive for that. The final chapter of the book is visible on its front cover.

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Vitriol    14,000

Four things.


1. I removed unnecessary bullshit in this thread. There was a lone non-identifying body check posted on MPA in 2014 that was posted here. I removed it. Beyond that, I did not see the "hundreds of body checks" that were posted in this thread, as one user on MPA has alleged. We're definitely not looking at the same threads - or truthfully the same site. We received a startling request to take down a lolcow thread. The cruel reality is that I don't own lolcow, kiwifarms or 4chan, contrary to anyone's assurances. I can't do anything about the fact that your picture is posted there (especially considering it was sourced from MPA not here) - email their site owners or perhaps you should have read my three million posts back on MPA that warned everyone about posting photos. It's funny that after all my warnings, and after all those long posts I wrote to put some sanity in a world of insanity, the main phrases that are associated with me are "run-of-the-mill fuck boy", "sexist scumbag", "alpha's alt", "seasnake's alt", "lying, trolling, predatory, piece of shit". I actually found the fuck boy comments pretty funny. You know, I was thinking of changing my name on here to Seasnake as a joke, but I figured his account would quickly get banned on MPA with the mods thinking I'm indeed him, even though we don't have more than one similarity between us. 


To clear the waters on the whole "vitriol is a fuck boy" accusations (at least as it relates to MPA), the extent of what I did is the following. From time to time I might have told a girl "pretty" (though honestly I can't remember more than thrice) but this was maybe once on my most recent account, and another time or two on "vitriol" (note I had the same username in may-ish 2016). It was ultimately in a friendly way and never was sexually charged. I didn't ask any girl for nudes. There was a girl who sent me ~questionable pics~ (bra and panties) accompanied with "am I skinny?" in the middle of an otherwise neutral conversation, and I believe my exact words were "yes you are, don't send pics like that to strangers. I just met you today.". I most definitely didn't ask her to send me more. On YB there were probably a handful of similar incidents. Please. I'm happily engaged, have a child on the way and have no shortage of girls I could message if I wanted to cheat. I was on MPA to spread good and nobody - not even the moderators - can substantiate otherwise other than their own empty promises. Apparently, I was banned for such an extraordinarily fucked up event, that not even the moderators could disclose it to me, lmao. I'm sure the mods who read through my PM's with a fine-tooth comb were upset to find that there was nothing showing that I was the predator that CD so readily claimed. Sad day, am I right? There's a reason why I had my private messages disabled most of the time. I couldn't keep up with all the messages and many of the messages had bad directions (so I didn't respond to them). In any case, none of the above private message episodes transpired on my banned account.


Some of the moderator's best friends have openly asked girls for nudes, "skype shows", have sent dick pics and remain on the site to this day. Active and respected posters. Yeah! Arguably the most destructive user of that site (in terms of being predatory towards women) only doesn't post on there anymore because he died from a heroin overdose. If he was still alive, he would be posting. Want to know why? He was in a relationship with one of the moderators. Corruption at its finest. I don't feel comfortable rejoicing in anyone's death, but I'll say that I'm happy that he no longer posts there. We ignore the tremendous issues of the site and focus on someone like me. I was without a doubt the least destructive cis male on that forum. The rest all wanted something from you; whether it was nudes, a girl with low self-esteem to take for a ride and control, and guys who portrayed a complete white knight image in order to get the girls to see them as "great guys who understand our dilemmas!" and before you counted to five, you've sent 5 nudes to him.  And most people don't understand how many people are running alt game on MPA. I can't remember how I got this screenshot, but this is an example of running alt game on MPA.




Just lol if you think everyone is their own little unique user. I have no doubt that many users on that site are controlling 10 accounts and more simultaneously. On the same IP. Want to know why? It's a large scale site. Unless you draw suspicion, the mods won't check your IP for other accounts. There's no trigger in the system that alerts the mod team and says "there are 30 accounts registered to the one IP!". This isn't something that's exclusive to MPA. I've known forums where one guy is confirmed the puppet master of 50 accounts. You see, I don't allow any of that nonsense here. Anyone with an alt account gets a 24 hour notice to choose one account and the other one is either merged with the chosen one or banned. MPA couldn't care less because more accounts and more roleplaying means more traffic to the site, and therefore more money. It's a simple business decision.


I have thousands of screenshots of shady things going on MPA, but like I said a lot earlier in this thread, I'm going extremely light on everyone. 


Want to see victim #342423423423 of crazy doc? Ah sit down. Let me show you!




(note to any mods who lurk this thread daily: I archived this thread in March so any alterations you make to hide the fact are in vain)


This guy. Yes, he was ignorant on some facts. He still had good intentions. He IS absolutely, without a doubt, one hundred and ten percent correct that MPA is a full blown pro-anorexic site, so I don't disagree with him on that remark. CD started with the accusations:





Hook-line-sinker and everyone took to it.


Then CD pm'ed Anne, right. She told her, "this is definitely YB [aka me] coming back to troll the site!" This is despite the fact that:


- the guy types entirely different to me

- the guy put a profile picture of him that was traced to a dating profile of his and he was upset when people talked about finding it 

- completely different MO

- I was not a banned user on MPA. if I ever wanted to come back I would come back and make whatever thread I want. Your boyfriend was a deleted account. My first banned account on the disgraced site was vitriol.

- I'm a lot younger than 29. I'm even younger than I say. If you all knew how young I was, you simply wouldn't believe it.


Moving on, Anne, of course approached me. This was also another night where I raged it at anne because she said "it was so obvious it was you" and I told her that I don't want to hear it from her, and that she should leave me alone.


Someone even asked me about it here. "Snow angel" from mpa.




I really don't feel comfortable posting her name/pic because she has a pic of her face right there. Ask her if you think I'm fabricating these messages. That guy was just another victim of crazydoc. One of hundreds, guaranteed. Thousands if you include the people she manipulated into hating others, because why can't they be victims. 


"professional user"


"muh vitriolz"


Good screenshot. Message from an MPA user a long time ago.




Just lol at posting on this shithole. Full of roleplayers, manipulators, people doing all sorts of social experiments, on top of being one of the most reprehensible sites known on the internet. Honestly I'm surprised so much drama can come out of nothing that doesn't even exist. But unfortunately this false reality has become the reality of many people, and it's destroying their lives unnecessarily. 


I've seen no shortage of comments on me that say things like


"he was the biggest troll"

"well known troll"

"banned for trolling"


I implore everyone who so confidently and quickly hails me as MPA's grand troll of trolls, to provide any proof of said trolling, not just to take the (provably untrustable) mods word for it. I did make some sarcastic posts, just like everyone else. I did make a few clickbait threads, just like many people. To say that I was this grand troll and for that to be my final indictment is disingenuous and misleading (much like the entire premise of the forum), notwithstanding that it doesn't matter because at the very least, MPA is a reprehensible and unbetterable community that will be dead by the end of the summer if things continue as they are. If I'm hated on MPA, I can only see that as a good thing. if I was LOVED on a pro-anorexia site, I'd be a damaging person; just someone who threw more logs in the fire. Ironically, the moderators are among the biggest trolls of the site. At the very least, they are closely connected to the ongoing troll figures of the community and they know all of them and allow (if not encourage) them. Just look at what they did with me and crazy doc. They knew she was behind all of those big trolls and they knew she was orchestrating a hate campaign against me and they didn't lift a finger to stop it. The mods were only encouraging her by, in the end, agreeing with her findings that were based on - well, nothing. 


There was a user who people might remember. A British guy who went by the name of "buck". He was obsessed with goats. Victim number 3 million of crazy doc. She accused him of being a creep when he said he was in his mid 40s and male, and he increasingly felt uncomfortable with his new label, and told me he deleted his account based on the accusations that began to stem from that one accusation of CD, which basically sealed his fate. His experience isn't talked about a lot but it's an important one to note. The accusation came in a thread about eugenia cooney where buck said something like "I am concerned about eugenia" and then CD said "this thread isn't creepy, she's just concerned about her". Buck said, "I'm male in my 40s" and boom that's all it took to seal his fate. I mean everyone knew he was male but that allowed crazydoc to start her work, and before you knew it everyone was making similar statements based on hers. Things like "you're an older male with no ED, why are you here? I agree with CD!". He did have orthorexia, but remember cismales can't have ED's. He's a man who didn't harm anyone. He was a harmless middle aged guy who was nothing but helpful, and a far less aggressive person than I am to put it at that. Hey, at least he left the site being known as "that old creep" and not banned like me and hailed as a "fuck boy and troll". A slightly more dignifying swan song, lmao. I can't remember if it was him or another older male who told me that he believes CD is a mod account because he can't conceive how someone who spread so much vitriol (lol) behind the scenes can remain on the site. He was referring to his own experiences with her. 


Every good user has been driven off the site. If he's male, he was banned or deleted his account because of something to do with crazydoc. This is an undeniable pattern. Who knows why she's like that? There are a million reasons that could explain her motivations, but she's an adult who should have self-restraint and not blame random people for being trolls, pedophiles and whatever else. When I was 16, a girl I was dating cheated on me with 4 guys. Including me, she was playing the field with 5 guys. A true star she was (really I think she was a nice girl, she just had a bad upbringing), and yet I didn't go on and demonize all women.


I'm not sure that one user who is helping the site, remains. There's not one. They're all either actively in their eating disorders thereby being a part of the problem, trolls, creeps, or in some cases all three. I'm not saying the average user there is bad. I like some people from MPA. I think the forum, being a powerful pro-anorexia community, is a guilty pleasure for someone with an eating disorder. It's kind of like your drug dealer. I'm sure that you don't think very highly of him, but you use him nonetheless. It doesn't change the fact that the site is inundated with trolls, roleplayers, manipulators and everything else bad that you can imagine. And who knows, the people I like on there could just be there are no alts here of crazy doc or something. It's not so far fetched. Just take this thread for a demonstration. Look at the majority of MPA users who have posted in this thread and make a judgment as to the general quality of the person there. It's not a judgment that I like to make, but decidedly one that's unavoidable.


Just look around MPA. Look at the site's longstanding trolls and ask yourself "why are they still here" and search a little more and you'll find they're clicking with the mods. There was a user - perhaps he's still there, called "toolarge4me". Something to that effect. He asked at least three girls I know of, to be their "ana coach" and that he means "business" and doesn't "joke around". He also asked at least one user to meet up in real life with her. He's been on there for years, and I know he personally pushed two girls off the site. When reported to the mods, "oh well there's no evidence that he's harmful!". What? So an admittedly older male offering an ana buddy service is fine. I don't mind calling him out, though it makes me uncomfortable because I hate talking badly about anyone even if they deserve it. I'm sure plenty of people have had experiences with him but they don't realize how common their experience is, so they don't speak out. It's the classic abuse model. The user rarely posts (only on political issues) but is heavily active on PM's. 


2. There were unnecessary comments made against a transgender (non-MPA) youtuber, which have been removed.


3. There were sexually charged comments made towards an MPA user. They have since been removed. 


4. If anyone reading this in the future objects to any of the content that remains in this thread and has formidable reasons for its removal; which include - a serious and overt privacy concern (there aren't any), a serious conviction that the information stated is false with proof that it is (this is possible only in a state of delusion), you are someone we posted about and you wish to change your view on certain things, sign up here and express your concerns to the administrator or email her with the specific content that you are challenging at evelyn@looksmax.net. I don't really want to hear your complaints and I shouldn't be hearing them anyway because COI. 


I don't check these posts for typos so I apologize if there are any!

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